Another Blast from the Past

Okay, so I found yet another gem from back in 2003. This story was probably as amusing to me at the time as it is six years later.
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Grocery Sto' 'ho......bby.

Yet another step in the "my life as a funhouse" chain.

I have been having issues with a grocery store clerk for a few weeks. Now don't get me wrong, I am usually as subtle in regards to flirting as a brick is subtle to a pane of glass. Sometimes even I notice. Also, I'm a night person. So it would not be unheard of for me to realize at 11 pm that we are out of eggs and milk. Off to the grocery store I would run. My local night check-out boy works the 4-12. He's the only cashier from 11-12. The store is usually empty. Now, I can imagine getting bored with no one around, and wanting to talk to the people that come in. So it took me a few weeks to start getting totally weirded out.

Now at this point, every time I'm in there and he's the only one in the front of the store he walks out with me. He lights up a cigarette and talks to me for several minutes. Granted, nothing of a totally personal nature. This guy has temper problems and he's angry about a lot. So I stand there and listen. And I wonder... is he flirting with me, or is he just trying to vent and I'm the only one who will listen....?

So, I am an intelligent person. I know when I need a second opinion. I go home and recruit. Enter the roomie T---. The next time over to the grocery store, I dragged her with me. We walked through, and he saw me. BOOM. Ten seconds later he's trying to help pick out popcorn. Yikes! Then he followed us around a little bit. And he made a running commentary while checking us out. AND... yep, he came outside with us. On the way home, I asked.... general consensus. We think he's flirting, but cannot be totally sure.

Next time I need something from there at night. Do I go alone? HAH! Think again. I take the T--- again. This time he follows us all around the store. T--- knows it's bothering me, and she starts powerwalking. Fine way to speed things up, except it leaves me with him. Ehhh... what fun. He turns to me and goes..."So, how long have you two been....................................

..."roomates"?" With finger quotes! Yes boys and girls, Mr. Checkout thinks I'm a lesbian. I wasn't sure what to say. People tend to think I am lesbian. Guess it has to do with how I dress or hold myself, or something. I honestly don't know. I figured it might be better not to correct him. If he thinks I'm batting for the other team then he won't flirt, right??? WRONG! You know the stereotype that guys always want a chance to get it on with a pair of lesbians. Yeah, well he's heard of that too. He was even more obvious about it. And he followed us outside again. This time he said something I could directly confront, rather than intuitions and impressions. "Why do you always come in when you think or know I'm on duty?" A direct comment I can deal with. And I told him... I'm a night person (True... ask anyone who has known me) and it's the closest grocery store (I'm also lazy... again ask anyone who knows me). Then I mentioned the frozen stuff was going to melt so I had to leave, and we bailed. You'd think I learned my lesson. I don't go there at night. But, it still is the closest store, and sometimes they run good deals. I also like the store itself. I've started going in the afternoons, when he isn't the only cashier. I still got stuck in his lane the other day. He told me "I know why you brought your friend in the other day". Cool, tell me. "You girls are all like that... you have to see this cute guy at the grocery store (Oh Lord help me.... ugh) and tell me what you think." Nope... that ain't why I brought her, bub. Thanks for playing. You missed the next round. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that wasn't why." Sure. Stared right at him and said: "I did not bring her here because I told her you were cute." He snorted, and said "Right". GAH! I can't win! And it's spreading. The meat department guy finally worked up the courage to give me his phone number. *Sigh* At least he's not as creepy as the cashier. I'm going back to the gym. And heading back to my books. *Crawls back inside her shell*

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As a follow-up to this story I would like to provide a visual of Mr. Check-me-out Boy.
- Lanky, mid to late-30s, shortish dirty blonde hair almost in a mullet.
- He wore his button-down shirts open 3 buttons, so he could show his manly chest hairs and bling (yes bling, multiple chunky gold chains).
-Almost always chewing on a toothpick.

Tres sexy. Really.